Live~Learn~Laugh~Love

 

 

As I can't change the "nic and mitch" address on this blog...

and "nic and mitch" are no more...

 

Please visit me at:

 

 

A new blog for a new chapter in my life!

I hope you'll come along for the ride!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Fertility Gods have just not been very generous with us.  

 

Is there some sort of offering we are suppose to give first? Some sacrifice that is neccessary before they provide us with the much needed baby-dust? I'm sure I could find a baby goat or a chicken somewhere around here. It is Flagstaff, after all. Wait, goats and chickens are kind of a VooDoo thing, right? So what, a human sacrifice maybe? Hmmm...that might could be arranged. You know, the guy next door with the truck? My mortal soul? Take it! Just give me a damn child!

 

We found out yesterday that our pregnancy is not viable.

 

My Hcg levels have not multiplied at all since last Thursday's beta test. That means although I am technically pregnant, the embryo's development has halted. Had I not been on the daily Progesterone shots, we probably would have miscarried by now. Because the drugs help my body think that I am pregnant, it has stayed pregnant despite an embryo that is not becoming a fetus. I have now stopped all the drugs, which hopefully will allow my body to miscarry normally on its own. Otherwise, I will be faced with a D&C procedure to scrape our precious baby from my womb. Not something real high up on my list of things to do before I die.

 

Needless to say, it's a rather dark day in the Martinez abode.

 

This infertility ride is one hell of a rollercoaster. I think I'll go throw up.

 

 

 

 

I finally got our scanner to work and thought I'd share something really cool.

 

Click this link to view---> Baby's first photo 

 

This is a day three photo of the two best embryos that were transferrred that day. We have convinced ourselves that only one of the embryos (out of the five transferred) has implanted due to my very low Hcg levels, and these two look like the most likely candidates. The one on the top is the grade A embryo, and the one on the bottom is a B+ embryo. You can see that the B+ embryo has a small bit of fragmentation (the cluster of tiny bubbles) which is the only thing that kept it from being an A. They both are at the 8 cell stage in this photo and have a perfect Zona (the shell around the embryo). Assisted hatching was performed on these two (and two others) whereby the Zona is slightly scratched to make it easier for the blastocyst to break out of the shell and implant. Amazing technology, isn't it?

 

Well, I'm still peeing on anything that will stand still long enough, just to make sure I'm still pregnant, and so far so good. Other than the constant fatigue that I've already been experiencing all week, I'm now starting to have "morning" sickness (that lasts pretty much all f'ing day!). I'm hungry as hell, but really can't eat much because I'm so nauseated. So, I just try to eat as often as possible and scarf down as much as I can before I feel like throwing up. Headaches? Check. Heartburn? Check. Cravings? Check (I'm craving vegetables of all things!). So, I guess...despite the misery...that this is all good news and an indication that the pregnancy is moving right along.

 

Thank you...from the bottom of our hearts...to everyone who has called or emailed with Cheers! and Congratulations!. This journey has been pretty tough, and though anything could still happen at this point, we are ecstatic to at least be where we are right now!

 

We love you all!

 

Hold on to your seats....

 

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!

 

4 weeks today. Unfortunately, my beta-HcG levels are quite low (but multiplying nicely) and we need to continue on with the Progesterone injections and such for awhile. Another beta-HcG test next Friday will tell us if we're in danger of a miscarriage or not. Then a week or so after that, our first ultrasound will tell us whether we can breath a sigh of relief and concentrate on getting through the first trimester successfully!

 

But for now, we're pregnant!

 

At 12dp 3dt (12 days past 3 day transfer) a pee-stick test looks kinda positive-ish.

 

Actually, it's been looking kinda positive-ish since Monday...10dp 3dt. And although the plus signs are ever so faint, Mitch and I are already doing the "holy shit" dance in the bathroom whenever I pee on a piece of plastic. I'm trying not to get too excited. I guess there is still a chance of a false-negative even when 6 pee-sticks are ever so positive-ish. And god knows, even if I am pregnant now, we've got around 2 more months of nail-biting before we can realistically stop worring about miscarriage...given my age and the whole IVF thing. I'm told there is about a 20-30% chance of that.

 

But let's keep our eye on the ball for now.

 

Tomorrow is beta test #2 and we'll know for sure when the results come back.

 

Today's food for thought...

 

The Top 5 Ways To Get Your Husband To Divorce You

(more commonly known as "woman, you are driving me fucking crazy")

 

1. Cry uncrontrollably when he brings home the wrong kind of ice cream.

 

2. Every morning, insist he marvel at your porno-size rack, but from a purely scientific point-of-view.

 

3. Threaten to start throwing away any article of clothing that gets thrown on the floor.

Then follow through on that threat (without a 29th warning).

 

4. While driving in the brand new car he bought you for your wedding anniversary, sigh heavily and say "I can't believe this thing doesn't have lighted vanity mirrors!"

 

5. Threaten to divorce HIM if he dares another attempt to console your infertile ass with the phrase "we can always adopt."

 

Sigh...am I completely unreasonable?

 

Today, I am 4 days past transfer...or 7 days past retrieval/fertilization, which counts as the same day a normal person might have some sex and get pregnant. God I miss feeling normal. And having sex, for that matter. Don't ask...let's just suffice it to say that the most sex Mitch has had in the last month has been with a plastic cup (hey, at least he's had some sex!). Nowadays, if I break out the Dixie-wear for a little BBQ, Mitch gets a hard-on. Ba dum dum. His joke, not mine. 

 

Anyhoo, what was I saying? Oh yeah...So if I'm pregnant, I'm actually 7 days pregnant even though the embryos were transferred 4 days ago. It boggles the mind. And to add insult to injury, the clock really starts on the first day of your last period. Which would make me, like...umm...2 weeks pregnant. Or not. In which case, so the fuck what? Yep, hormones are still firing away...in case you were going to ask.

 

We implanted 5 embryos this time around. One A, two B+, and two Bs. The seven remaining were left to keep dividing until day 5...but none of them made it. They were all Cs and Ds by day 3 anyway, so we weren't too surprised. Still, kinda makes me nervous about what's going on with the ones they implanted. Come on embryos!

 

I talk to them every day. Make them promises about all the great crap I'll buy them if they will just divide and implant! The bribery has started already. I'm doomed to be one of those immediate gratification kind of mothers, I think. The kind that has zero tolerance for embarrasing temper tantrums or whining and lacks the patience it takes not to cave for the sake of your child's future spoiled rotteness. Yep, I'm going to be that mom in the check out line that shoves a Hershey Bar or a Transformer or a Bratz doll or whatever in her kid's hand just to shut them the hell up until I can escape all the stares from the perfect mothers.

 

I do hope someday I'll be standing in line with a screaming child...and then I will remember this blog, and I will smile because I remember how desperately I wanted to be there. And I'll split the Hershey Bar with my kid.

 

 

Today, we have one more embryo developing than we did yesterday. A "late bloomer" if you will.

So, 12 embryos are dividing thier little hearts out today.

 

We've got 1 grade A

(the over-achiever of the group-this one is Mitch's kid).

6 are B+ and 2 are B

2 are C and 1 is a D

 

As we speak, Dr. BrightEyes is performing assited hatching on the top 5.

Tomorrow....embryo transfer.